The 3 second rule.

Yes, that's right, I'm back and most of you are wondering why on Earth am I getting this notification from some blog that I had forgotten about. And a few of you are wondering if Leonardo DiCaprio is asleep or not...

As for the first question, not to worry, I only bother you to inform you about one of the most important rules a man should follow; the three second rule. No, it's not the rule you used as a kid for eating food off the floor but more importantly...looking at women.

Although using the same title as the three second "food on the floor" rule. It is even more important than picking up that last cookie that fell from the box and rolled under the table, but you were still able to pick it up and wipe off the dust and hair and still call it good because of those quick few seconds you had in order to retrieve it. It is in fact this; "A man shalt gaze upon thee, if the time does not pass three." Sorry to go all Dr. Seuss on you but rhyming helps get the point across.

Now three seconds doesn't seem like a lot of time but I've created this Pie Chart to help simplify it.

So.... basically don't be creepy. K?

And as for the inception question... It doesn't really matter. What matters is that he totally could have fit on that door at  the end of Titanic.

-JT

The Barbarian

Ahhh Dave the Barbarian, what a great show. It had to be the greatest show when I was a kid. It had a good premise, classy jokes and just the right amount of adult humor. Of course I didn't get those jokes until I started watching the show again recently. Unfortunately this show was canceled after just two seasons. And that makes me so mad that I am going to give Disney a hardcore, bloodthirsty, rage filled........ letter. That's right I'm going to use the best tool known to consumers..... annoying emails that can only be ignored for so long.

And as for the March Madness bracket, yeah mine's shot... My final four does not include any of the actual final four so..... oh well. Also, could someone please explain to me how VCU made it into the final four I mean seriously, they're not that good.

Well, that's all I got. But seriously Disney will be hearing from me!

-JT

Blogworthy

This is my first blog of the year!!!! Yes that's as sad as it sounds.

Yes………… it's been a while. But it has been my new years resolution to blog more... Ok I blew that, oh well next year.

There hasn't been many blogworthy things going on lately.

I went to regionals for public speaking, I was in an agricultural safety video, I went skiing at Kicking Horse, I got cast as Peter Pan, and I was in a forum.

Yep, nothing blogworthy.

Ahhh there was this awesome show that was on when I was younger called Dave the Barbarian. It was my favorite show and I just remembered it the other day, then I looked it up and realized how hilarious it was. So I watched it a bunch... yeah it's more exciting if you know what I'm talking about.

Also, it's March Madness time!!! And in case anyone cares my pick is Florida State Univeristy and of course it's not only due to the fact that they have the best abreviation ever. (FSU) You may have noticed my blog design has changed a little bit due to the event.
Well that's all for now,

Signed JT.

Lunar Eclipse

Last night there was a lunar eclipse and it was epic.It started just before midnight and I stayed up to watch it. I kinda gave up and went to bed at 1:11 but I got the just of it. Here's some pictures I took of it:






It was pretty awesome, anyway that's about all... It's pretty boring around here. I'm sure things will pick up... eventually

Signed, JT

Hmmmm

Well I guess I should really blog more...

It's been a long time since I last posted and I'm sure no one really noticed... Or cared but I shouldn't let my intellect go to waste, I should really share with all of you.... Both of you...

So I got some awesome new games for my birthday and if you really don't care for video games you should really scroll down. I got the new Goldeneye 007 game and it was pretty awesome, except for the annoyingly short campaign, and the fact that if the title of the game is Goldeneye it should really be Pierce Brosnan... But it's Daniel Craig.... Ok, nobody's going to notice that. And yes, I'm pronouncing it Bro-snan. But overall it's a pretty good game, and the AK47 no longer looks like a pencil... Like in the old one.... What was up with that?

Next I got Call Of Duty: Black Ops, and yes it's as awesome as everyone says it is and there is absolutely nothing bad I can say about it... Except for the climbing animation... It's better in Goldeneye.

And finally I got Monster Hunter Tri, the best graphics for any game on Wii. And I've got to say for the little I've played it I'm impressed... I cant compare it to the other two because they're first person shooter games and this is an RPG but the story seems solid and the graphics are amazing... When I get tired of Black Ops I could probably play it for hours.

Well if you enjoyed my blog being turned into an online nerd critique then there's probably something wrong with you ...

That's all for now so remember...
There's better things you could be doing right now.

Signed, JT

Perfect Week

Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test

That's right I have a 136 IQ. How do I know? I took an online test so you know it's accurate.

I accomplished a perfect week. Glad you asked. A perfect week (at least by my terms) is when you Suit Up for an entire week. Monday I was supposed to give a presentation but I ended up not doing it so I Suited Up on Tuesday. I gave my presentation but I thought "Meh, why not?" So I suited up for the rest of the week.

COME ON!! I watched "I love you Man" the movie with Jason Segal and Paul Rudd. At the end of the movie Jason Segal just has to go and steal my whole "Bro" inserted into someones name thing from my post "Somebody has to say it....." from August 5th. Even though I posted that after the movie was released It was still my idea. But NOOOO! Jason Segal has to go and throw down the "Bro Montana" I should Patent this idea.

Anyway, Suit Up! (for a full week preferably.)

-Signed JT

The great burger off!

Me and my family decided to figure out who had the best burger.
We tested Five Guys burgers vs. In n' Out burgers. The Five Guys burger was great it was very tender and suculant, I just know that there's going to be a sign in one of their restaurants that reads: "...a great burger" (jtblogin.blogspot.com) trust me… it'll happen. Now the In n' Out burger was truly a beter price for the same meal but the burger wasn't as good as Five Guys' but their fries... Oh their fries were amazing definitely beter than Five Guys. So the verdict is in: Best fries = In n' Out, Best burger = Five Guys.

So on the plane ride home I was stuck between… well two less than fit* guys. Yeah….… it was great ( I don't know if you caught the sarcastic tone in my writing but
it was there.)


Also funny thing; we noticed at In n' Out a guy was covering fries with melted cheese and gravy and we said to him " Excuse me dear boy, what do you call that there?" ( no we didn't say it with an English accent.) He said it was "Animal Style" hmm… Interesting, back home we call that a Poutine. ( no we didn't say that with a hick accent)

Signed, JT

*less than fit = FAT

It was bound to happen sometime...

We all knew the day would come when my sister would finally snap and start babbling like and idiot just piecing together random words and saying things that don't make sense. In this complex state she said the word wain't, a word that combines won't and aint. But since she couldn't decide which to say she just kinda threw them together and brought shame to the English language. That's when I realized that this word that seemed to be random nonsense to any foolish person was actually a phenomenon in the making. Since we use the slang word

aint

as a simplistic version of

am not

or

is not

why can't we simplify won't or were not into

wain't

trust me; it's gonna be a thing.

Ah, the 80's, a great decade. Those were the times of good music, good clothes, good fads, and good restaurants. I see the 80's as the cultural hub of our history. How could you not like the 80's that would have to be the most awesome time ever. Nothing could be more awesome than people roller bladeing your food to you. If I could go back in time I would totally go back to the 80's.

So I went down to the States with my grandparents.....we drove. It was fun (no I'm not just saying that because they read my blog) So we drove through Vegas and we went to Ceasars Palace....well, not the real one.....Ceasar didn't actually live there. And I did one of the most awesome things that you could do...I licked........ Wait for it............. The Eiffel tower!!!!! Half of you are thinking "Ewwwww" and the other 4 are thinking " There's an Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas??" Yeah, well, I was proud of it. OK? And I bet you didn't know there was a Statue of liberty there either.

So now I'm in San Diego and It is awesome we went to the races and saw a Padres game at Petco Park (which I licked too Btw) Well I'll keep you posted on all my adventures (and things I lick)

Just remember: 85.7% of statistics are made-up.

Signed: JT: Boy of Destiny!!!

Somebody has to say it.....

What came first; the chicken or the egg?

I know we're all thinking it so I guess I have to be the one to say it: "WHO CARES?" I think we all have more important things to worry about than the origin of a species that happened millions of years ago (probably).

Now on to more important business: Greeting a bro. Now when greeting a bro you can always spice it up and break the ice by incorporating the word "Bro" into the name of a famous person.... for example: Lebronardo Da Vinci, Nabrolean, Christbropher Brolumbus, Abroham Lincoln, Brohammad Ali, Charlie Brown. OK that last one I didn't have to change but you get the point. This is most easily done with names that have long O sounds.

Now there is only one rule to this phenomenon.... no Republican Vice Presidents...
I know, I know you're like "what? why?" Don't look at me I don't make the rules.....well in this case I guess I do.

So no Theodore Brosevelt, no Garret Brobart, no Schuyler Brolfax. You get the picture.......sorry one more: Spibro Agnew. OK now I'm done.

This will catch on... I've got a list going of famous Bros so I've got tons I can roll out at any time.

Yes people this is my 30th blog which means I'm 30% of the way to my goal: 100 blogs.
That's right I did that math in my head.

I'll leave you with these inspirational words: some say the glass is half empty, but I'm an optimist so I say Are you going to drink that?

JT

World Cup

I've been watching some of the games of the world cup and I'm cheering for Brasil. I don't know how people can watch soccer, it's kind of boring.

I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I like the idea of fate and the stars because I like the idea that I'm not responsible for my actions.

So what's with watermelons? Seriously, you don't drink them. Yeah ok they're like 80% water but so are we right? So should we be called water.....people? Then they'd have to call it like: green on the outside pink on the inside melon...or maybe use an acronym like: GOTOPOTI melon. But how is that any different than water melon? I mean Water does make you Gotto Poty right, right? No? Gotta go potty? get it? ok never mind.

So I was watching last comic standing and I realized when a fat guy starts walking on stage you just know it's gotta be a good act. I mean like all fat comics are funny...like Brent Butt.

You know what's a funny word? Kumquat.(noun) A group of small fruit-bearing trees in the flowering plant family Rutaceae, either forming the genus Fortunella, or placed within Citrus sensu lato. The edible fruit closely resembles that of the orange (Citrus sinensis), but is much smaller and oval, being approximately the size and shape of an olive.

Ok I don't blame you if you just skimmed through that definition and only reading the words like; the, and of. Completely not even trying to pronounce words like Sensu lato but that's ok.... I just copy and pasted it from wiki.

Signed JT

Irrelevance: has nothing to do with this post.

Wow love isn't blind....it's retarded.

Have you ever wondered what the first time someone recorded history went like? Well it probably went something like this:
Wednesday, Bought a cabbage.

Did you know that the thigh bone is stronger than concrete?

I know right?

Ever heard sayings told with the phrase "you know what they say"?
Who are "they"? Are they just these dudes that talk alot? Come up with clever sayings?

I live in a small town... this small town is so small that someone can rob our bank with a hammer and get away on foot. This actually happened. True Story. Everything is within walking distance of everything...seriously it's small. Get the picture?

Like to wish my Daddy a happy fathers day. HAPPY FATHERS DAY. I love you because you raised me and put a roof over my head and such things. Love ya.

There was a guy on the Lakers (who won the NBA championship by the way) Who was black (well obviously..he plays basketball) and had blonde hair...seriously.


You know what they say... "When in Rome do as the Italians do...because that's their capital...Rome"

Signed JT

Describe your life in one word: Awesome.

This blog was written by a professional, do not attempt.

Yes, my life is awesome. Nothing like sitting in the back of a truck with the back open listening to I'll Pray for you. Good times.

Did you know that some orphans don't have parents....who knew?

Now back to important business: Iron Man vs. The Hulk, Who would win?



Yes, it is obvious that Iron Man would win, but that is just one man's opinion. You 57, 324 Facebook Incredible Hulk fans are people too.....probably. Thus I have created this poll. You will find it in the top right corner of my blog, vote wisely.

Remember; if you're gonna play in Texas you gotta have a fiddle in the band.

Signed JT

The Faux-hawk

You say to yourself "What is a Faux-hawk?" well first of all, don't say things to yourself; people will think you are crazy.



Well my friends this is a Faux-hawk, it is a fake Mohawk. It's a Mohawk that is obtained without shaving the sides of the head. When you're bored and in a big city you can play the game "Faux-hawk" (invented by yours truly with the help of my good friend Nolan).

Basically you just count the number of Faux-hawks you see, we counted at least 25. There you go, easy as pie.Not lemon meringue though, that's a tricky pie.

The L.A. Lakers are playing the first round in the playoffs against Oklahoma City...it should be good I hope they win.

That's all folks.

Signed JT

Goats

Today's random phobia is .....Xanthophobia: the fear of the word or the color yellow.

Oh right back to goats. A couple weeks ago we judged goats with 4-H and they were pretty cute. They have really slow reflexes, I threw a small stick at one and three seconds later it flinched. True story.

We went to Gallelli's branding and it was pretty hardcore, I got to tie up calves legs, and other cool jobs like that.

Not much else is interesting, I saw the most popular movie in the world..... Avatar, it was pretty good.

It is really easy to start a debate.. you say one thing about Iron man and the Hulk and a war breaks out, Jeez. Obviously Iron Man would win.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. I would know, I checked.....online.

Can the average person lick their armpit?


Ha, you totally just tried didn't you?

That is all

Signed JT

Bunnies

It's not that I have ADD it's just that, HOLY CRAP A BUNNY RABBIT



Seriously Look it's a bunny rabbit.

Did you know that there are more chickens than people in the world?
Seriously that's like more than 8 billion chickens.


A Tiger can breed 75 times a day when the female is in heat. I bet not even
Tiger Woods could do that.

Get it Tiger

My Grandparents just returned from a cruise, apparently it was awesome. It sounded fun.

Remember; Seriously what is up with that bunny?

Signed JT

Weekend at Bernie's II

So I watched Weekend at Bernie's II, it wasn't as good as the first one because they had some weird voodoo stuff going on. It was weird but still funny.

Totally went Laser taging this weekend and it was awesome. In the area where you put your vests on Master Cheif is on the wall and so is Neo from the Matrix.

We went to West Edmonton Mall a couple weeks ago and it was pretty fun, we saw Shutter Island; it was creepy and didn't make alot of sense. I also bought a new shirt, it's pretty sweet.

My Dad sent an awesome sweater to me, it reads: SUIT UP because tonight will be LEGENDARY. It's awesome thanks Dad.

My friend Chase came over this weekend and we did lots of things, including laser tag (see paragraph 2).

Twas awesome,
SUIT UP
Signed JT

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) :) :)

Don't use exclamation points or emoticons in e-mails, or really anywhere for that matter. Here's why; it's stupid.(except in blogs)

When you celebrate some one's birthday it shouldn't be any different than your average Tuesday. I mean sure you loved birthdays, the excitement, the presents, those cool point hats....then you turned twelve. Seriously it's all downhill from there.

Did you know that if you cook chicken at 650 degrees it burns through the tin foil and catches fire? Hah, Classic.

So I guess I'm going to have to cheer for Vancouver in the playoffs since Calgary and Anaheim are out. I mean who's more Canadian than the Canucks. and if you say the Montreal Canadians I will seriously......Blog furiously about it.

Remember the 80's TV show with Neil Patrick Harris...Doogie Howser? Great show, he is so young there, AND HE HAS A BLOG it's a personal journal on the computer but still. Good show.

If you aren't reading this seriously, start reading my blog.

Just remember...Butterflies taste with their feet.
Suit Up.
Hah, Classic

Signed JT

Presentations

What up my persons?

Me and raymond totally came in 2nd in regional presentations.
It's no 1st but it will do, we got $50 and $20 gift cards for books.
Sweet deal!!

Sorry I haven't bloged in a while but I've been busy with my day to day duties of absolutely nothing. And if I fall behind on my nothing then well, I'll have more nothing to do.

My bull was down at aggie days and he was being awesome. I don't think he enjoyed it very much but he's happy back at home.

You know what's a stupid letter; Q it's obviously just an O trying to be all fancy with it's little tail.

Things you don't need to know but i'm going to tell you anyways:
The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
Rhythms is the longest word without any of the vowels (aeiou).
On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
thought you should know.

pfft Q

Just remember to Suit Up!

Signed JT

20!

Hey people

That's right, this is my wait for it......20th blog woooooooooooooooooooooooo!

As for the Olympics at the current time we have 4 golds, 3 silvers and a bronze.Go Canada!!

I've been watching the olympics and we are doing really well. Proud of the first guy to win a gold medal on home soil ( well....snow )

When it comes to broadway- Article 139: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, "Broadway" begins with "Bro"
-The Bro Code

Just remember- never smile at a monkey

Signed JT

D-Day

Hey people,

That's right today is Desperation Day a special brocasion, the day before V-Day when everyone is desperate.

The Olympics started yesterday and it was awesome. Me and my family have a pact to wear Canadian flag tattoos until the Olympics are over.

Me and Raymond Destroyed at our public speaking event when we did a presentation on Suiting Up! It was awesome.

If you noticed I say awesome A lot. So here's some synonyms: overwhelming , grand, breath-taking, splendid, tremendous, remarkable, amazing, awe-inspiring, astounding, and humbling.

Just Remember,
Vitamin C is good for you.......probably


Signed JT