It was bound to happen sometime...

We all knew the day would come when my sister would finally snap and start babbling like and idiot just piecing together random words and saying things that don't make sense. In this complex state she said the word wain't, a word that combines won't and aint. But since she couldn't decide which to say she just kinda threw them together and brought shame to the English language. That's when I realized that this word that seemed to be random nonsense to any foolish person was actually a phenomenon in the making. Since we use the slang word

aint

as a simplistic version of

am not

or

is not

why can't we simplify won't or were not into

wain't

trust me; it's gonna be a thing.

Ah, the 80's, a great decade. Those were the times of good music, good clothes, good fads, and good restaurants. I see the 80's as the cultural hub of our history. How could you not like the 80's that would have to be the most awesome time ever. Nothing could be more awesome than people roller bladeing your food to you. If I could go back in time I would totally go back to the 80's.

So I went down to the States with my grandparents.....we drove. It was fun (no I'm not just saying that because they read my blog) So we drove through Vegas and we went to Ceasars Palace....well, not the real one.....Ceasar didn't actually live there. And I did one of the most awesome things that you could do...I licked........ Wait for it............. The Eiffel tower!!!!! Half of you are thinking "Ewwwww" and the other 4 are thinking " There's an Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas??" Yeah, well, I was proud of it. OK? And I bet you didn't know there was a Statue of liberty there either.

So now I'm in San Diego and It is awesome we went to the races and saw a Padres game at Petco Park (which I licked too Btw) Well I'll keep you posted on all my adventures (and things I lick)

Just remember: 85.7% of statistics are made-up.

Signed: JT: Boy of Destiny!!!

Somebody has to say it.....

What came first; the chicken or the egg?

I know we're all thinking it so I guess I have to be the one to say it: "WHO CARES?" I think we all have more important things to worry about than the origin of a species that happened millions of years ago (probably).

Now on to more important business: Greeting a bro. Now when greeting a bro you can always spice it up and break the ice by incorporating the word "Bro" into the name of a famous person.... for example: Lebronardo Da Vinci, Nabrolean, Christbropher Brolumbus, Abroham Lincoln, Brohammad Ali, Charlie Brown. OK that last one I didn't have to change but you get the point. This is most easily done with names that have long O sounds.

Now there is only one rule to this phenomenon.... no Republican Vice Presidents...
I know, I know you're like "what? why?" Don't look at me I don't make the rules.....well in this case I guess I do.

So no Theodore Brosevelt, no Garret Brobart, no Schuyler Brolfax. You get the picture.......sorry one more: Spibro Agnew. OK now I'm done.

This will catch on... I've got a list going of famous Bros so I've got tons I can roll out at any time.

Yes people this is my 30th blog which means I'm 30% of the way to my goal: 100 blogs.
That's right I did that math in my head.

I'll leave you with these inspirational words: some say the glass is half empty, but I'm an optimist so I say Are you going to drink that?

JT

World Cup

I've been watching some of the games of the world cup and I'm cheering for Brasil. I don't know how people can watch soccer, it's kind of boring.

I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I like the idea of fate and the stars because I like the idea that I'm not responsible for my actions.

So what's with watermelons? Seriously, you don't drink them. Yeah ok they're like 80% water but so are we right? So should we be called water.....people? Then they'd have to call it like: green on the outside pink on the inside melon...or maybe use an acronym like: GOTOPOTI melon. But how is that any different than water melon? I mean Water does make you Gotto Poty right, right? No? Gotta go potty? get it? ok never mind.

So I was watching last comic standing and I realized when a fat guy starts walking on stage you just know it's gotta be a good act. I mean like all fat comics are funny...like Brent Butt.

You know what's a funny word? Kumquat.(noun) A group of small fruit-bearing trees in the flowering plant family Rutaceae, either forming the genus Fortunella, or placed within Citrus sensu lato. The edible fruit closely resembles that of the orange (Citrus sinensis), but is much smaller and oval, being approximately the size and shape of an olive.

Ok I don't blame you if you just skimmed through that definition and only reading the words like; the, and of. Completely not even trying to pronounce words like Sensu lato but that's ok.... I just copy and pasted it from wiki.

Signed JT

Irrelevance: has nothing to do with this post.

Wow love isn't blind....it's retarded.

Have you ever wondered what the first time someone recorded history went like? Well it probably went something like this:
Wednesday, Bought a cabbage.

Did you know that the thigh bone is stronger than concrete?

I know right?

Ever heard sayings told with the phrase "you know what they say"?
Who are "they"? Are they just these dudes that talk alot? Come up with clever sayings?

I live in a small town... this small town is so small that someone can rob our bank with a hammer and get away on foot. This actually happened. True Story. Everything is within walking distance of everything...seriously it's small. Get the picture?

Like to wish my Daddy a happy fathers day. HAPPY FATHERS DAY. I love you because you raised me and put a roof over my head and such things. Love ya.

There was a guy on the Lakers (who won the NBA championship by the way) Who was black (well obviously..he plays basketball) and had blonde hair...seriously.


You know what they say... "When in Rome do as the Italians do...because that's their capital...Rome"

Signed JT

Describe your life in one word: Awesome.

This blog was written by a professional, do not attempt.

Yes, my life is awesome. Nothing like sitting in the back of a truck with the back open listening to I'll Pray for you. Good times.

Did you know that some orphans don't have parents....who knew?

Now back to important business: Iron Man vs. The Hulk, Who would win?



Yes, it is obvious that Iron Man would win, but that is just one man's opinion. You 57, 324 Facebook Incredible Hulk fans are people too.....probably. Thus I have created this poll. You will find it in the top right corner of my blog, vote wisely.

Remember; if you're gonna play in Texas you gotta have a fiddle in the band.

Signed JT

The Faux-hawk

You say to yourself "What is a Faux-hawk?" well first of all, don't say things to yourself; people will think you are crazy.



Well my friends this is a Faux-hawk, it is a fake Mohawk. It's a Mohawk that is obtained without shaving the sides of the head. When you're bored and in a big city you can play the game "Faux-hawk" (invented by yours truly with the help of my good friend Nolan).

Basically you just count the number of Faux-hawks you see, we counted at least 25. There you go, easy as pie.Not lemon meringue though, that's a tricky pie.

The L.A. Lakers are playing the first round in the playoffs against Oklahoma City...it should be good I hope they win.

That's all folks.

Signed JT

Goats

Today's random phobia is .....Xanthophobia: the fear of the word or the color yellow.

Oh right back to goats. A couple weeks ago we judged goats with 4-H and they were pretty cute. They have really slow reflexes, I threw a small stick at one and three seconds later it flinched. True story.

We went to Gallelli's branding and it was pretty hardcore, I got to tie up calves legs, and other cool jobs like that.

Not much else is interesting, I saw the most popular movie in the world..... Avatar, it was pretty good.

It is really easy to start a debate.. you say one thing about Iron man and the Hulk and a war breaks out, Jeez. Obviously Iron Man would win.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. I would know, I checked.....online.

Can the average person lick their armpit?


Ha, you totally just tried didn't you?

That is all

Signed JT